Running a business is exhausting. 2020 was exhausting. 2021 proved to be just as exhausting as well, but 2022 has zapped what remaining energy I have had.
I have found that I feel like I am in a perpetual state of exhaustion whether it is from the state of the world or even because I also battle a chronic neurological disease that has been kicking my ass more often than not, is hard to say. It could also be a very overwhelming schedule, trying to find my drive to market my book, and figure out where this whole photography career is heading following these last few years.
At the end of 2019 I had announced my partial retirement from rodeo photography. I was done chasing rodeos that weren’t located very, very close to where I call home. I was ready to put a lot of that genre to bed and little did I know that world agreed with that decision. Because a mere months later 2020 launched a pandemic across the world and life as we knew it was canceled. I was effectively retired.
Of course other photographic plans were canceled as well and I was left wondering how I was going to survive and how my business was going to survive If I was just a photographer I am sure I wouldn’t have made it at all. But I have my hands in other areas and I worked those areas. My business made it through 2020 and 2021 but this new year presents the same amount of challenges.
Life is still trying to return to normal while dealing with record inflation leading to clients still holding off on booking expensive shoots, travel, and large marketing packages. People are still trying to make their own ventures work as cheaply as possible and that means I am answering a lot of inquiries but not gaining any new clients. There are of course other challenges, besides client retention, there are the personal, and there are the ones that cut deep that are hurtful. All of them contribute to the feeling of burnout.
I have read a lot of articles on burnout especially in the photographic field and there are somethings I agree with and others I do not.
One of the things I agree with is photographers seeming to burn out after 4.5 years in business. Note BUSINESS, is the word I want to stress because before it becomes a business it is so much fun that it makes you want to do it and be self-employed. It starts to suck the life out of you when it become a business, slowly at first, as the novelty starts to wear off.
Most of the articles give the reader tips on overcoming burnout but since I actively feel like I am in the mist of burnout I can’t actively say what if anything will pull me out besides stubbornness and an unwillingness to lose and be a failure. If I am honest I will survive it through sheer stubbornness and I know that but I may not and I think that will be fine too.
I think that is the hardest part is being ok with the possibility of walking away. I never started a business with true intention of goal. It happened by accident and for years I have just been following a course my talent had opened. I love photography but I am not as in love with running my own business so finding a new happy medium where I get to do photography but just maybe it’s someone else’s business sounds like a new dream to me.
At any rate I will come out stronger on the other side and regardless of what happens I have learned a lot as a business owner and as a photographer.